I Don’t Know What to Say at Confession…

As some of the children in our parish prepare themselves for this significant moment, we can use this opportunity to further reflect on this mystery that is Holy Confession.

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But I don’t know what my sins are…

Confession, without a doubt, does not come easily. The instinct (or what we believe to be instinct) tells us that we are not that bad and that we really have not done anything that is actually sinful. We tell ourselves that we have not killed anyone or… well, that is often where the internal list stops. And this is exactly what the devil would like us to believe: we do not really sin and there is nothing to tell. Nor does sin even feel like a valid or relevant term in today’s world. But then we are missing out on the sacrament of confession, one of the healing mysteries of the Church.

Read “But What If I Only Thought About It?”

So let us go back and review a bit.

What is Sin?

As Fr. Jaroslaw has taught us, sin is when we “miss the mark,” when we know we could have done better or done something differently. It is that voice in our heads, reminding us (hopefully). But what is this mark that we are aiming for? Well, having been created in the image of God, we were effectively designed to be like God. And our life’s goal is to be one with God (theosis): that we do not act on our will, but that of our Father.

3 Types of Sin

Each of us is tempted by the devil to commit sins, each and every moment of the day, even when we have been actively praying and talking with God, fasting, and communing of the mysteries. As such, we need to be prepared by knowing what those temptations might be in order to recognize them when they pop-into our minds unwelcome.

  1. SINS AGAINST GOD: If I lose confidence, trust or hope in God. If I blaspheme, curse Him, mock Him, poke fun at Him. If I absent myself from the Divine Liturgy on Sunday without good reason. If I do not receive Holy Communion regularly.

  2. SINS AGAINST MY FELLOW MAN: If I am jealous, envious, hateful, malicious, slanderous, vindictive, revengeful, or mean. If I criticize unjustly, ridicule, poke fun, take advantage of, insult, hurt, inflict harm, or gossip in any way.

  3. SINS AGAINST MYSELF: If I lie, cheat, steal, or deceive. If I am unethical in my practices at home, school, or work. If I have impure thoughts in my mind. Acts of fornication and adultery. Pornography. Profanity. Pride and conceit.

To Remember before Confessing

Just as after we do something wrong (“miss the mark” or sin) in a relationship (be it romantic or family) at home, we go, admit it and ask forgiveness because we know it will ultimately hurt the relationship; the same applies to our relationship with God.

Confessing our sins to God in front of a parent/guardian (just as a priest is meant to be) is not meant to humiliate nor shame us, but help us personally acknowledge what we did wrong so that we can ultimately come closer to God. Sin keeps us away from Him.

Please remember that whatever is said in Confession remains there. Neither the Priest nor the confessee can or should repeat anything. Sins are parted with at the Foot of the Cross. And when the prayer of Absolution is recited, let the burden of sin be lifted off your shoulders. So therefore express the sins which are suppressed in your heart and soul. Confess your sins and prepare yourself for Holy Communion, for prayer and for spiritual renewal and happiness.


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