…Intelligent silence…
Excerpt from: Fr. Dr. J. Buciora, A Cry for Help: Spiritual Guidance for Depression, in: The Valley of Hope, 2016
…The silence of a spiritual father, as an indication of a stillness, is not simply the absence of talk, of noise, of sound, but it is the presence of the attention of the listener. In another perspective, stillness is not the enemy of action. Stillness indicates the means of ensuring all the actions are suffused with an awareness of the presence of God. In stillness we drawback into silence to became aware of God's presence at the centre-point, where we are attentively waiting and listening.
The words have the power to heal and the power to destroy any credibility of the source. The credibility of the spiritual father does not come with the multiplication of explanations and definition but it comes with the life in God. It might be better for a spiritual father to reflect in prayer or intelligent silence on the condition of the afflicted one in a meaningful divine silence that penetrates all the pain and suffering of the situation: "Intelligent silence is the mother of prayer, freedom from bondage, custodian of zeal, a guard on our thoughts, a watch on our enemies, a prison of mourning, a friend of tears, a sure recollection of death, a painter of punishment, a concern with judgment, servant of anguish, foe of license, a companion of stillness, the opponent of dogmatism, a growth of knowledge, a hand to shape contemplation, hidden progress, the secret journey upward. For the man who recognizes his sins has taken control of his tongue, while the chatterer has yet to discover himself as he should".
According to contemporary Orthodox thought, a spiritual father guides and heals others not primarily by words of advice, but by his living example and relationship. He advises and helps the others by his very presence. From the other perspective, a silent state of a spiritual father, might be the most profound answer of God for the particular case and situation. The interior silence of a spiritual father gives the afflicted one to be himself/herself with him. We may add that silence might be in itself a disclosure of God's presence. We should not overestimate and oversimplify the meaning of silence in the life of those who are fighting with the multiplicity of questions and personal agony.